Monday, 13 August 2012

• Sorry I have been MIA… I was sick Friday through the weekend =[

  I NEED to talk to you girls…

  Thursday night, K dragged me out to karaoke (now that she is single I am guaranteed to be dragged out pretty often….) with our friend H who she likes to hook up with sometimes. I met a new guy there. Guess what, another E. But different name thankfully.  I’ll refer to him as E2 I guess. Now most of you know I RARELY say this… I seriously like him. A LOT. We were chatting outside, he invited me, K and H to come on his boat and party and swim. I was pretty hesitant but him and his friend were very nice, clean cut guys. So we went out… swam, had a great time. E was all over me and we talked a lot… I swear everything out of his mouth was perfect. He has a big house all to himself, he plays all sorts of outdoor sports, he has an INCREDIBLE job, he is considerate and funny, he has a motorcycle, trucks, cars and he is SO smart. He is perfect. We made plans for the next night, but of course I got sick. Yesterday I was better and out with K again, and he invited us again on the boat. It’s a really long story of events last night, mostly us trying to keep K entertained so she didn’t have a 3^rd wheel bitch fit.

  Long story short… I am infatuated. How could he possibly be so perfect??? He was even raised by a single mom, and wants to meet my kids, take them out on the lake, teach them things. He’s sooo tall. And strong. And he has treated me like I have waited my whole life to be treated… and makes it look effortless. Why is he interested in me? I can’t figure it out. I have been honest, that I live with my two kids and my husband recently moved back in so that I could be home with them. And he has only gotten sweeter to me. It’s like he reads my mind, he pays so much attention to my expressions and body language I hardly have to talk. But I could talk to him forever. I am holding my breath, waiting for the catch. No one gets by me this long without presenting a single bad quality. And he hasn’t given me the tiniest indication as to how he could POSSIBLY be 35 and still single. He is excellent and for some reason wants me as much as I want him.

  I’m so worried. I don’t get this way… except of course for E. But that was not instant… that took time. And E2 just blows him out of the water in all reality. I’m scared to think I could possibly be happy with this guy. It’s overwhelming. He wants to see me everyday, I had to tell him that just isn’t possible. But my parents are taking the kids for 2 nights next weekend, which is unheard of. I’m going to spend the whole time with him, and I could not possibly be more excited.

  As for M… I had the break up talk with him yesterday, which pissed me off because I did not ever want to be in the position to HAVE to. But somehow we got there. I told him my situation was too complicated and he didn’t deserve to be dragged into it, that he would be in over his head with me. He just didn’t wanna hear it. Kept arguing with me. After about 30 minutes he just had to walk away because he was getting so emotional. I wanted to cry I felt so terrible. I never wanted to hurt him. He is a wonderful guy and deserves a great girl. But I’m just not that girl, and he is too horny to realize it. I’m sure if I slept with him, he would snap back to reality and break it off anyway. But I promised myself… no more sex without love. We were not in love, even though he thinks he was. He probably thinks that a lot.

  Anyway, not much else to report. PLEASE wish me luck with E2. I am crazy head over heels right now and don’t know at ALL how to deal with those feelings. He’s practically a stranger, but he is making such an impact on me…. Sighhhhh….  Butterflies. What a feeling. And he insisted when he takes me swimming again that I wear a bikini. So this will have to be an excellent week. My weight is back down to 169, and body is looking alright but definitely need to take more off. I tried on my “goal” bikini, the one I pretend I will wear in public someday, and it’s not terrible looking. But I know there’s so many perfect girls out on that water. The night I met him I swam in a bra and underwear and that’s kind of the same thing. But it was dark and I had drinks in me.

  So here’s to new beginnings, and getting closer to perfect by the weekend.

  peaceLOVEskinniness

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